Jesus: You feed them
Disciples: You want us to go into town and purchase enough bread for 5,000 with just a couple of denarii?
Jesus: How much food do you have?
Disciples: 5 loaves, 2 fish
Jesus: Give'em here (personal summary)
Jesus blesses the bread, breaks it into pieces and passes them out to the crowd who by now are sitting in groups of fifty. Jesus does the same with the fish. After everyone was satisfied with their meal and had enough, the disciples collected the left over pieces, totaling 12 baskets full.
POV of boy: "This is my lunch. I brought my own, it's not my fault y'all came out here without lunch. Oh, wait disciples, you want to give my lunch to Jesus. Oh, okay, sure. Wait let me just grab 1 loaf for myself."
POV of crowd: "I'm hungry. I'm hungry now. Jesus is gonna break some fish and bread for all of us? Um...yeah, I'm just gonna head back into town and buy a few loaves myself 'cause I don't think he's gonna be able to break enough pieces for ALL of us. Plus, I really don't feel like waiting and fighting to get in line to get a piece of this fish, I mean just a piece, a little morsel? Not worth, it, I'm going to town for a sec. I'll be back. Y'all want something?"
POV Disciples: "You're about to multiply food? How can you multiply food. How do you break something into 5,000 pieces and it's more than enough for everyone? Everyone? I mean even those people over there, those people are greedy, they take stuff, wrap it in a napkin and put it in their purse for later and STILL eat."
I definitely relate to the disciples in this story. I have already struggled with comprehending and believing this story. I can't seem to wrap my head or faith around taking such a tangible item like a piece of bread, a slice of bread, blessing it, breaking it and breaking it and breaking it and breaking it continuously for a bunch of people and still having left overs. I don't get it. It's impossible. I have the same problem with Elijah and the woman with the oil story. How was there more oil? She just poured it out. SO, it's gone, only, it's not, there's more. My lack of faith in this miracle is strange in contrast to my full faith in other things- spiritual things like the casting out of a demon, casting out epilepsy, making a blind man see, making a crippled man walk, angels swooping down on an army, a burning bush that's not tearing down, or even Jesus and Paul walking on water. I believe those miracles, whole-heartedly, but I can't seem to get, grasp, comprehend, believe, understand, the breaking of a food, a tangible item and it multiplying. Like, when did it multiply, in Jesus' hand, when it was passed out. Or were the pieces tiny, but had some affect of when a person ate it, their belly was suddenly full?
I pray the Lord show me what He want to reveal to me in this story. I know some questions we have will and must remain just that, questions. And I know that we're not really put on earth to understand G-d, ultimately, no one can understand him, but even the significance of this miracle is missing from me. I genuinely, entirely, don't get it. It's cool, if true, if possible, but I just, I don't know. I can't seem to fully grasp it like all the other one. I pray, I believe.
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