Philippians 2:13

"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him." - Philippians 2:13

For GOD- LORD, a good spirit, not a bad one
is WORKING- struggle for fruitfulness, for profit, He has not given up on me or gone off the clock
in YOU-Lisa
, GIVING- offering it to you, to take it, for free
the DESIRE- the want, the passion, the thirst for it
and THE POWER- the strength and the ability to do it, He is abling me (abling is not a word), equipping me to do it
to do what PLEASES- makes Him happy, satisfied



The "working" part really struck a cord with me because it made me notice a presumption I carry if not with others, definitely myself. The presumption is that basically, I'm an adult Christian and should know better. Since I have been raised in the church, I went to the pre-school/elementary school of the same church, I can count the day's I've missed church, I took the scripture "...when I was a child I acted like a child...now that I'm an adult I not longer act like a child..." (something like that), I took this scripture to heart when I became of age, when I became an adult. I thought, you were literally raised in the church, now you're an adult, you know better. You're an adult Christian Lisa it's time for you to start acting like one, meaning stop making stupid mistakes and I felt like I shouldn't be feeling doubt or temptations, especially obvious ones that most people go through in their high school or college life. I felt like I've received the proper education, I'm done being made and now it's time to act appropriately. DO what He made me to do. But, now, apparently, I'm seeing and I guess trying to believe this "working" part of the scripture. Working is in the present progressive form, which means it's still being done. He is currently and still doing this work on and in me. I am not yet a finished product, I'm not complete. Instead of pressuring myself to be this full and complete person, this perfect Christian and getting angry, ashamed or disappointed when I'm not and I fail, completely fail to discern or notice that I'm falling, I need to release myself to G-d and simply allow Him to continue working. I'm not complete yet and that's okay, that's the point. I don't have a strong back bone yet, in G-d's eyes maybe I'm young and maybe he's not yet created the backbone part of me yet, lol.


Additionally, that fact that He is present progressively working also brings comfort to me knowing that He is still with me. He hasn't just made me, completed me and expects me to be able to swim. All of which I thought, I had assumed. He is still here with me when I excel and He is with me to help me back up. I'm still in training, I guess.


Changes to make to my life: Relax when I sin or when I'm seriously tempted to sin. I'm not saying sin and walk proudly, but I will be like King David, who sinned and immediately consistently sought the face of G-d. LORD please help me to seek you in my shame, to not hate myself when I fail, LORD let me be like King David who believed and practices your mercy, your grace, forgiveness and your love. Help me to understand that you're not a G-d who eagerly and easily destroys. Help me to understand and to believe whole-heartedly that you love ME- a failure. You still love me when I'm mean, ugly, stupid.