Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

anxious-worry
everything-everything and anything, the little stuff, the big stuff, the mental figurative abstract stuff and the concrete stuff
prayer-stop, get on knees, close eyes and commune with G-d.
petition-asking? though I'm unsure of this word in this context
thanksgiving- thanksgiving about what exactly? this word in this context is unclear to me
present- show, display not necessarily demand

I've developed a lack of confidence and spirit of fear in my life, which I've never previously experienced. This could be due to the fact that I'm in a new situation:20 something and out of the 12-14 year structure of school. I worry a lot about my next job, how to get to my dream career, if I'm Christian enough, why I sin, why I can't seem to date anyone, how can I pay my bills working a decently paid job that I loath and still be happy, and how to not kill myself or my mother. I worry a whole lot more than I've ever worried in my entire life and it stresses me out to the point where I can feel and sometimes see my heart beating, my body trembles and I've had acne for the 1st time (I didn't get it in high school) on my cheeks for nearly a year now. I become so overwhelmed that I sink into depression and can only lay down and just daydream of a better life. Better is not really the term for it, maybe just a more fun and frivolous life, really. I also end up not making any decisions because I'm too concerned that I'll make the wrong decision that could ultimately make me regret the next 2 to 3 years of my oh so very short life and/or 'cause me to go to Hell. I'm also dealing with my first real possibly rooted sin that I believe is a sin against the flesh. This is not spoken about nor at all tolerated in my family nor in my church so I feel even more ashamed to attempt to find someone to talk to about it AND my church doesn't really have services where people can go talk to someone about their problems, anyway.

This verse tells me I do have someone to talk about it with, G-d. Stress and worry I know is already a sin (there's a scripture verse that's like, what's the point of worrying, your worry doesn't produce anything, the birds don't worry and the Lord feeds them everyday....), but apparently it hasn't stopped me from worrying. I don't like being this person. Lately, I seem to go to G-d about the big stuff like, please don't allow me to die alone, or please bless my currently non-existent children, lol. But, I don't actually pray about the little figurative things or current concrete things like my car, my current lack of funds, this current sin I can't seem to shake. I need to release everything unto Him.

I pray, Lord, that you help me allow you to help me. I'm tired of feeling fear and doubt and utter shame to the point where I feel like I have no right talking to you, or doing your work, or that I'm never going to experience love or success or happiness. I'm so, so tired G-d. Please help me. Help me to make it a habit to go to you in prayer about everything and anything and the confidence in knowing that you once I've brought it to you, you will take care of it. Help me to in that prayer be thankful of you taking care of the matter. Lord please build me up with confidence in you, your love, your strength, and your ability and willingness to help me with all my issues, ALL my issues. Give me the confidence to trust you in all things. Forgive me of my sins. Love me. Help me life a proper life. I don't want to do wrong- this is my greatest fear. I want to make you smile, make you proud. Help me Lord to be okay. Please help me.